Dear World: I've Been Busy

I know, I know. I've been slacking. This isn't the first time and we both know it. Whenever my life gets hectic the blog takes a bit of a back seat, and that's okay.

Because my blog is a form of relaxation and a way to keep anxiety at bay, it does exactly what I need when I need it. So between finishing up school for the year, moving into my house, throwing a house warming party, hosting a week's worth of house guests, and traveling all over the United States I think it's forgiven if I take a short break.

I'm coming back though...

My house is almost ready for the world to take an inside tour with me. I mean...I HAVE A SOFA! I almost celebrated an entire day over this until my air conditioning judiciously died on me.

So while my house and I mentally psych up for a home tour I hope you will accept this peace offering of a life update and know that I am completely okay. Just a little busy living my life in the two months of off time I get.

Can't wait to get back into the swing of things. Feel free to tell me about your wonderful lives!

He Rides Polar Bears, and Sometimes Brings me Flowers When it's Snowing.

We all have a list. 

A list of the qualities we want in a significant other. Lucky for you I found my list from college today! I have decided to share it here for you. Along with the list I will be adding some side notes to try and explain my self a little bit. I hope you enjoy!

1) A rather luxurious afro of glorious red hair.

(I have a small obsession with gingers. I love everything about them and find male gingers insanely attractive. There's also just something about an afro... I can't explain it.)

2) Non smoker

(I personally am allergic to smoke. I don't see a cohesive relationship happening if I can't even be in the same room as you for extended periods of time.)

3) Not an alcoholic. 

(Self explanatory)

4) Knows what music is...really. None of this I want to impress you so I'm going to pretend that everything I hear on the radio is great. 

(As someone who has dedicated their life to this fine art, it's definitely important to me that you at least understand a little about my passion.)

5) BE LITERATE! Read a book. Heck read several.

 (Knowledge is power my friend.)


6) Have a good grasp on grammar please. 

(I can't handle people who can't construct a basic sentence.)

7) A bit taller than me would be nice, anyone shorter would be worryingly short. 

8) Someone who talks to me during football games.

(To me, this is a sign of true love.)

9) Be funny, unintentionally. If you work at it you could get tired and I would get bored.

10) Hey be available. I hate being ignored when people are busy. HATE IT!

11) Be nice to everyone, especially my friends

( If they don't like you I'm taking it as a sign to run far far away.)

12) Be a safe driver, with a hot car. One of my favorite things to do is just ride in the car looking out the window.

13) Dress weather appropriate. I know it's random but there are shorts for summer and pants for winter. None of this I am a MAN I wear shorts year round then catch pneumonia, but it doesn't matter because I'm a MAN!

14) No sexism. I can do whatever you do, just sometimes I may not want to.

15) Teach me something. I like to learn unless it wasn't evident by the fact that I've spent about 99% of my life in school.

16) Make me pay attention. We all know I have attention difficulties. I'm looking for someone that can make me focus. I have big plans, you won't be in them unless I want you to.

17) Come travel with me. You and me kid....we're going to go places.

Being Single is Hard Sometimes

Many times in my life things happen that make me say..."No one will believe this story." Today's entry is one such event.

The time my dad thought my grandmother's funeral was the perfect time to find me a boyfriend.

I'll start by saying we don't grieve like normal families. Mostly our emotions are kept in our separate corners. Crying is a sign of weakness, and grieving is done alone. You do what you can to hold it at bay until you're by yourself, and on rare occasion "doing what you can" means "finding MeHaley a boyfriend."

We're strange...I know, but you can't blame us after two days straight of viewing and our marathon seventh hour at the funeral home on that particular day. (Russian Orthodox funerals are no joke.)

My grandma was a stunningly kind woman. She was also the best cook I've ever known and towards the end of her life she was no different. My aunt always took care of her and provided any extra help she needed. My Aunt Marge has the biggest personality. She won't do anything her gut tells her not to do and anyone that meets her loves her automatically.

This story took place on the night of viewing when ALL of my Aunt's co-workers came to show their love and support. They just so happened to include my Aunt's nice looking 26 year old colleague that also makes really good money. A guy who would have made a perfectly nice catch ANY OTHER DAY OF MY LIFE.

I was just walking around mingling with these people who were there to give love and support. Meeting people who I'd met long ago when I was a baby and who remembered me, but I had no idea they existed. When suddenly I hear my father call out to me from across the room. Granted we're a pretty spirited bunch so it was pretty loud for a funeral, but it didn't matter. You could have heard him across the street...and what was he yelling? He wasn't calling me to come over...nooooo. Instead he was shouting this guy's stats across the room.  

Haley! This is Rob. *points to unsuspecting victim*

He's single!!!

Rob has a great job.

He makes a lot of money!

(kill me. kill me now.)

He was right for the most part. Rob was in fact single, with a great job and he did make a lot of money. He also talked non stop about his "best-girl-friend." He's using his big paycheck to pay off his mountains of student debt, and has the vocabulary of a state college frat boy. (Nice one dad)

Unfortunately Rob just wasn't right for me at that specific moment in time, and at the end of the evening everyone left just like they had come. They all said their goodbyes and condolences and my family retreated for the evening to prepare for what will probably always be one of the longest days of my life.

I'm glad that my parents worry about me enough to want to help me find someone to spend the rest of my life with, but their timing can be disastrously off sometimes.

Since the funeral set-up debacle we've had many conversations on proper set-up etiquette and timing.

You'll be happy to know it has gotten no better.